Euros Ate My Dollars

By now I’m sure you’ve seen the YouTube video sensation entitled “David After Dentist.” If not, then please go watch it because it’s far more entertaining than any of the things I ramble on about.

Anyway, my favorite quote from the video has to be, “is this real life?” I don’t know if I’ve watched the video too much lately or what, but I had my own “is this real life?” moment tonight.

I saw a story on Digg about Heroes star Hayden Panettierre doing whatever it is that celebrities do, and the reference gave an unexpected kickstart to a memory hiding in the back of my brain. My mind was suddenly flooded with images from a story involving Hayden Panettierre…but I had one problem. I couldn’t remember if I had seen this story on TV, online, or if it had all been a dream. The only way to know would be to ask someone.

Brittany was washing dishes when I walked up to her cautiously:

Me: “Hey…Brittany?”
Brittany: “Yes?”
Me: “Is Hayden Panettierre actually a man?”
Brittany: “WHAT are you talking about?”

Definitely a dream then.

Actually, I still had some reservations that the story MIGHT have been real life, but these were put to rest when a Google search for “is Hayden Panettierre a man?” returned no relevant results. Now that I’m 100% convinced the story was allll just a dream, here is how my dream went:

Hayden Panettierre is up for some kind of acting award, and when she shows up to the award ceremony, no one recognizes her. This is because she is actually a married man. He is short and balding with beard stubble and a wife, and the network filming the awards show explains that he puts on a wig and makeup each week to become Hayden Panettierre. He has obviously been doing this since the days of Raising Helen or whatever her first movie was, and he enjoys the unique ability to be a famous actor who is able to go out to dinner without being recognized.

I wish you could have seen the man in my head who is Hayden Panettierre. But even as shocking as the story was, I had clearly forgotten about the whole thing until a random Internet reference jogged my memory. Stranger still, now that the memory is back, I’m actually having a hard time accepting a world in which Hayden Panetierre is NOT a balding, stubby, middle-aged married man.

Are you SURE this is real life?

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